Alternative stories suggested by teacher DIANA DAGUTA
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
Adapted for the 21 century by Raluca Semenescu, 10th Form Maths-Info German, Pedagogical School “C. D. Loga”
At LRRH’ place. Mother is calling LRRH, who is playing computer games in her room.
Mother: LRRH, come here, please.
LRRH: Yes, mother dear, I’m coming.
Mother: Take your roller-skates and go to your granny in the woods with this rucksack full of goodies. She has no time to cook, you know, she’s very busy watching soap-o operas on TV all day long.
LRRH: All right, mother dear, I’ll go. Goodbye, mummy.
Mother: Goodbye, my dear.
In the woods, LRRH meets the wolf.
The wolf: Good morning, sweet girl. Where are you hurrying off to?
LRRH: I’m going to my granny with some goodies.
The wolf: And where does your granny live?
LRRH: There is only one bumgalow in the woods and that’ s where she lives,don’t You know?
The wolf: Oh yes, I remember now. Goodbye, I’ m in a hurry
The wolf hurries to granny’s bungalow, while LRRH picks some flowers for her granny
At granny’s bungalow.
The wolf enters and finds granny reading a novel by Sandra brown because the electricity is off
and she cannot watch TV.
The wolf: Hey, granny what are you doing?
Granny: I’ angry because the electricity’s off and I can’t watch my 2 o’clock soap on TV.
The wolf: Don’t be angry anymore. Get out of bed and have a cup of coffee at my bar in the woods, so that I might earn some money, too.
Granny: Really, do you have good coffee there?
The wolf; Yes, only best quality.
Granny: You have convinced me. I’m getting dressed and I’ m off.
The wolf: Enjoy your coffee, granny.
The wolf quickly puts on granny’s nightdress, gets into the bed, with a novel by Sandra Brown in his hands, waiting for LRRH.
LRRH: Hello, granny dear.
LRRH: But, oh, granny,why have you got such big eyes?
The wolf: To better watch TV.
LRRH: Oh, granny, why have you got such big ears?
The wolf: To better listen to music.
LRRH: Oh, granny dear, why have you got such a big nose?
The wolf: To better smell your goodies.
LRRH: But, my dear granny, why have got such a big mouth?
The wolf: To better swallow your goodies.. Yum, yum.
Right at the moment a hunter passes by and overhears their conversation through the open window. Aware of the danger in which LRRH is; he raises his rifle, aims at the wolf, and shoots him. In the meantime, granny comes home and they all sit down at the table and enjoy the goodies that LRRH has brought.
Granny: Mmmmm…. Knorr soup.
Hunter: Pizza.
LRRH: Hamburgers from McDonalds.
All together: And always Coca-Cola.
SNOW WHITE
A commercial for cosmetics written by ARDELEAN ALEXANDRU, PETRIE MIHAELA and SIRBU ANAMARIA, 5th Form German, Pedagogical School “C.D.Loga”
Once upon a time there was a beautiful but bad queen, who was always looking into an ORIFLAME mirror and forever asking.
Queen: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most beautiful woman of all?
Mirror: It’s you, your majesty, but Snow White surpasses you in beauty.
Queen: How is that possible?
Mirror: Don’t you know?You have been using the same old cosmetics for years now, while she hasn’t.
Queen: What miraculous things has she been using?
Mirror: Her hair is so black and soft because she uses only HEAD AND SHOULDERS shampoo to wash it and L’OREAL to dye it.
Queen: Oh, indeed? And why is her face so white and clean?
Mirror: Because she washes it with DOVE and uses NIVEA cream.
Queen: Oh, really? And why are her eyes so bright?
Mirror: Because there id a lot of waterproof mascara in her make-up kit.
Queen: And her lips, they are magnificent!
Mirror: Because she paints them with MARGRET ASTOR lipstick.
Queen: Does she? You know, she works so much and her hands are so soft and delicate.
Mirror It’s because of the AVON cream. But, look at you! Your dress is so old-fashioned while She wears only CATALIN BOTEZATU collection.
Queen: I can’t stand it any more. I want to talk to her right now.
And guess what? Snow White and the queen became the best friends as Snow White promised to provide her stepmother with the best cosmetics and fashion advice. So they went together to Bucharest to buy the new CATALIN BOTEZATU winter collection.
And they both lived happily ever after.
Tânărul poliglot 